vaga #1/23 the romantic
Part XXIII
The romantic photos that accompany us in the romantic chapter, I have taken when I come across these situations that do not let me be unhappy, and I have seen several of the kind. Vietnam photo
Speaking with Pilar, my friend, she said to me; How fantastic it is what do -your freedom without limits-. Yes, and that's the way it is, and I really enjoy it in full ..... I know that for those of my generation everyone has reached or is reaching retirement, it is a dream, either to travel without a return ticket or the freedom to do what one pleases and when it pleases. The vast majority that I know are part-time or holiday travellers that I've come across say the same thing to me. Many see me as showing direction and even more so as a woman, a mother, a professional, it is even more impressive when I say that I come from Chile, that is, a European or North American would be more understandable. Healthy envy and admiration is what I recollect. Now my life as a vagabond for more than two and a half years since I left Chile, came out of life circumstances; this life was never in my dreams, and when it happened I took it without thinking by strong intuition and blind faith. I said to myself on the road that I’ll think about it, I'll see and since I had no plans for anything, nothing would happen if I returned ... ... One month after throwing myself into empty space, which was in every sense of the word I said to myself; I belong here and without hesitation. I had a world to discover, a world that expected me to discover it. So far I have not met anyone who has this life, nor have I heard from anyone. Yes, I come across 6-month travellers, and they return to work for another 6 months, after that, or those who travel without return dates, but with the purpose, of returning to their country rather like a sabbatical year, the other group are ex-pats that do not fit into the traveller rating, they are immigrants. Yes,... ... Yes, it all sounds romantic and yes, I have all the freedom dreamed of by many. But with the passage of time and miles I have realised that this life is for very few, it is the idealisation of a dream, but it requires more than dreaming. I have come to realise that many things are needed in addition to cash, and it is definitely not enough to have this life, it is a minor point. You need a peculiar personality structure, many that I know have the cash and the dream, but not the other, and that is why they do not launch.
photo in Vietnam
My discoveries along the way about the special personality conditions for a life like this:
COURAGE; which is different from bravery. Courage is having balls, determination without hesitation is a personality trait, while courage is the opposite of cowardice, I associate it with a brave act, but an act. Courage is part of the personality always present and not punctually. Courage is developed through life, it is not something that is acquired from one minute to another, bravery is punctual and can jump at any minute. My past life was in charge of developing it, it was already embedded, when they tell me “you are strong” I answer them “and not by watching television”. Courage has been brewing in my life since I was young. An example is settling to live alone at 21 in Paris, and now that I analyse it I have discovered that it was also gestated by my work. Let me explain, creation, my works are made for specific places at great heights or to install works between buildings. All are assembled at the time of installation, there are no drafts here. Feeling the abyss at the time of installation, the previous night keeps me awake, will it turn out well or not ...? I take my chances with everything and my career at the same time and that was for years. Exercise the courage, carry out the installation with an ending that could be disastrous (there have been) exposing myself in a big way because of how large its dimensions are, an acceptable work must come out, meet the commitments with the sponsors and not like a bad work made in the studio and then thrown away and nobody knows about it. Determination and risk
photos in Vietnam
APPREHENSIONS; the most common from what I have heard in all of them is health, “and yes, what if I get sick, !!!! what horror !!!! Now the " NOT ROMANTIC " because it is real-life and not free of adversities like all life. In this short time, I have already been hospitalised twice, in two countries and in 4 countries for dental treatment. In Bali, I arrived at the hospital semi-conscious I was there for 9 days, I only told myself “at least here they will cure me” Or the ankle operation, the hospitalisation that was bad, but finally I will be without pain in my foot and be able to continue my wandering. I have had two strokes, the last one was in Bali and I have been left with cognitive disabilities, now I always see the positive side, 60% of strokes affect the left hemisphere of the body leaving it in paralysis, 40% in cognitive connections, I see that I am lucky in adversity. Semi paralysed, I could not tie my shoes, or put on my bra in the morning to start the day, forget about wandering forever, and I would have to have someone to assist me for life being 60 years old. My short-term memory is permanently impaired as well as some of my cognitive functions, another advantage to this life, I have been exposed to new challenges daily, names of towns, all weird names, bus schedules, every new guest house with new addresses and how to not get lost, new currencies to convert, air flights for me are a nightmare, and I avoid them, new codes, new languages, etc. I forget everything in a second. I learned tricks and the telephone has been the extension of my memory. Pictures of train schedules, names of the towns are written on paper, or I keep the business card from the hotels in my wallet etc. I slowed down my rhythm of moving, I do two things during the day, there are a lot of challenges, even writing this. Nevertheless, it is extremely good to keep my neuron connections active and healthy. I don’t let them sleep, this would have happened in Chile, for sure, not having daily challenges, my system would go into pseudo numbness, ending in functional drowsiness and significant cognitive impairment. Finding the one medication for Alzheimer's that helps me somewhat, is very scarce and very expensive. I don’t like to go to large cities for the same reason, they stress me a lot and I cross my fingers to find it. My ankle did not improve at all, 16 weeks after the operation, and it improved very slowly. These are my limitations, and they are every minute, complicated, limited and frustrated. For these days I already have it incorporated, the frustrations are lower, acceptance and moving forward, now they are part of my baggage. Just, I spent a little over a week ago and as I called that time that were 6 days "The fucking scariest time in my life." the stars aligned in a diabolical way against me, isolated on a tiny island that was my quarantine place and I fell ill with a fever in the middle of the pandemic, on another occasion I will go into details. This is an example of courage and not of bravery because it was sustained over time. I have not had the slightest doubt about my wandering, it only strengthens the spirit. An anecdote regarding the "non-romantic" that is very nice. A month ago being in Cambodia, I wanted to visit Koh Rong island, when I got on the ferry I realised that it was the wrong ferry, they did not change my ticket, I was going to another beach on the same island and that company did not go that route, I would lose the ticket, and it was not cheap, I was angry with myself for not concentrating fully when I bought the ticket, thank goodness I did not have a booking. I told myself; I’ll get on and take a chance, let's see what fate has in store for me ... I arrived at the most paradisical beach in the world. Almost unknown, exclusive, it was one of those that no longer exists ... a hundred times better than my original destination, as I say that I travel with my little angels and this time they took me to paradise ... hahaha. Now when they ask me if I have health insurance, it's another 'heavy' issue, everyone's eyes widen when I say no. I would have it, and I had two, but they did not serve me at all when I needed it at the time, then I learned that there is no travel insurance that fits me (they separate those who travel from the country from those who live abroad, I live abroad) they allow you to be three months away from your country, enter 1 day and another 3 months and thus the year can be covered. It does not suit me and I paid for two years to no avail. My consolation was that all the hospitalisations and a very ugly hand burn, that took weeks to heal. If it had happened to me in Chile it would cost me 3 times more. In Chile, I also did not have health insurance there. Let's hope that my little angels take care of me to not fall back into hospitalisations or accidents. A Canadian medical friend travels for 6 months a year because his Canadian insurance covers only that time, and he returns without any desire to do so. Living in uncertainty and insecurity is a subject that scares and discourages almost everyone.
photos of a bride in Sri Lanka and her bridesmaids, she was waiting for the official photographer, she was a model.
SOLITUDE; is another condition that is rare. The word loneliness has a bitter taste, it is like a tragedy, it is involuntary, while solitude is an option for silence. I have never felt alone, I am always with me, I am my partner in everything, that is why I talk to myself all the time and many times out loud and even in times of hardship, all being for my health. 80% of the time I live in solitude, the remaining 20% is when I settle someplace and make new friends who keep in touch via WhatsApp, other friends at the moment, share times and live, and goodbye is goodbye. I do not see my solitude as a bad thing, on the contrary, it is comfortable for me and I carry it in harmony. You don’t get the solitude as the company acquired from one day to the next. It started in my childhood and then with the thousands and thousands of hours of silence in the studio, therefore many of my hours in life have been in silence. This feature is essential. I come across travellers who travel alone, they feel urged to make friends, even for a while, looking for conversations everywhere, in buses, bars, hostels in need of telling someone about their adventures. Me, on the other hand, being very social I never open a conversation with anyone, in those 10-hour bus trips or those tours that are all in the same situation, I am indifferent. It is boring for me to tell about my wandering, however, if they talk to me, I follow them, I just listen and ask them because I know they are excited to share their days. I'm not a hermit, I love conversations, but beyond “where are you going and where are you coming from”, I'm not even looking for a mate. It has also been an important time of personal growth.
being at my house in Kandi, Sri Lanka, I heard their music live, it turned out that in front of a large hotel, a wedding party was taking place, like the paparazzi I got myself to the entrance and saw the arrival of the groom, the bride was already inside. So many and beautiful diversities for lovers of the world.
DETACHMENT; has to be foolproof. Physically; I sold my house in Arrayán and that is what I live on, I do not have a retirement fund to ensure a lifetime of income, an inheritance will come to me at some point, and it will insure me for a while, I am not irresponsible, nor do I plan to be a burden of my children in the future for my decisions. I got rid of comforts, security. More and more I feel that material possessions are a hindrance, one has to take care of it, improve it, ensure it, etc ... By detaching oneself from these, it detaches oneself from the moorings. Living without a home is another point that very few dares, many tell me "I don't have money", ... then why don’t you sell your house, your car, and you have retirement ... and that's where the conversation ends. I tell them I am " homeless by choice ” how without the security of returning at some point when things are not going well, or you get old? How I say it, the house goes with me, it is no longer a physical house, and when things do not go well I will have my house wherever I am, if only that I can pay for a reasonable room in every aspect, in a beautiful place, friendly surroundings and friends of the moment, I do not need more, but it will be seen in due course, there is no reason to paralyse oneself in assumptions, and it is apprehension that plays here. When they ask me about my things, books, photos, memories, furniture, etc ... I live in a minimalist way, that is, with a suitcase, it is my option, I carry those things in my spirit. Now the emotional physical detachment, or of other bonds is another point, it also helped me with my previous trips and residences in other countries, to get away for years from my loved ones. I believe that human ties are in the soul. Not because I am far away, do I ignore them, on the contrary, I enjoy each WhatsApp. I am grateful for the current technology that allows me to keep up to date with the lives of my children, they are young, and I am on top of their things, studies, dentists, winter clothes, their needs ... and an ear. Without WhatsApp, I could not have this life, they are very young, and maintaining my responsibilities to them is an important part, and I am happy to do so and invite them to travel with me as often as they have the time, in fact, it has been possible with all three separately. Get rid of the sentimental in regard to birthdays and Christmas alone, without nostalgia or longing. I do mischief, invent things for those days, here is an anecdote from my last birthday in Bangkok. I decided to go to the famous roof bar, a bar on the roof of a tall building where one can see the whole city at sunset, I told myself; before leaving the house that I would put on my best dress, I had only two…. That day and the long story was that I fell into the wrong building and the wrong bar, (my brain was not working again) full of buses of Chinese and me ... ... the short story I was already leaving and passing through the bar to the elevator there was a table singing "happy birthday “An Asian family with two young children, I approached them and told them it's my birthday too, … we laughed, hugged and a happy birthday song for me, it was the mother's, and we blew out candles together, and I kept walking, no more than two minutes and photos here and there, and I even blew out candles… . hahaha. Or, the huge queue to get on to the elevator more than 25 minutes of waiting, a fleet of Chinese, a worker saw me as, like a chicken in someone else's corral, he signalled me to follow him, a minute I was in the staff elevator and in two, on the street, it was a nice gift.
These photos were lent to me by my Nepalese friend, Gopal, the marriage of his sister-in-law, a year before, the bride is in the first photo, Gopal and Vinu, his wife, in the second, the white on the forehead is sticky rice.
ZERO EXPECTATIONS; is another. This is a new one for me. Expectations create anxieties, the urge to achieve them, they give satisfaction or frustration depending on whether they are achieved or not and then others come and others and do not stop. Live day by day and that's what I do, let's see what tomorrow holds for me ... whatever comes is welcome, always seen with open eyes, and they become surprises, you only enjoy and appreciate them and the surprises "non grata" are overcome. Living day by day is commonly heard, as a healthy way of living, but from saying it to the fact is a long way. I don't look for anything, I don't ask for anything, I receive, and I give. I was given this gift from not having expectations. The same that day I left, I didn't know where I was going, as I was going and that's how it happened, from one day to the next.
My friend, Dimitri from Macedonia, got married in Indonesia in January to Gusti, an Indonesian and Muslim woman
Accurate comments; Pancho Gedda, when he found out about my new life, told me that it was a “periplo” (journey). No idea what it meant, I googled it, and it says: "Long trips through many countries" haha there is a word for this hahaha.
Marriage of my Balinese friends, Novi and Ari, in which I was a maid of honour and manager of its completion, the photos are from the fourth day of the ceremony, the most important part, they are leaving the temple where she makes the conversion from Buddhism to Hinduism, as a requirement of the paternal grandfather for approval, without approval, there is no marriage. Bali, September 19 '
In the novel "The Japanese Lover" by Isabel Allende, which I read a couple of months ago, reading it made me feel I had found a soul mate in one of the characters the most curious thing that came to my hands exactly when I was 62 years old, but it is literature, mine is not. it is.
living in uncertainty, without security, without plans or goals, letting myself be carried away like a bird in the breeze, that I have learned in my pilgrimage, it would surprise you that at sixty-two years old I can still leave overnight to wander without an itinerary, no luggage, like a boy hitchhiking, that I leave indefinitely and do not call or write to you, that when I return I cannot tell you where I was. There is no secret, Alma. I walk that's all. To survive I need very little, almost nothing! Ah, freedom! I'm leaving, but I always carry you in the memory
Michael, an Australian of about 73 years old was travelling with his daughter, we ran into each other in a guest house about 3 months before. He knew I’d been travelling for a long time and I did not say more because he jumped in and told me that in his youth he worked on a boat as a way of travelling, he met a Spanish woman who did the same, and his comment was "you have to be Bohemian to lead that life", thinking about women… mmm, Bohemian? …… .. In my free time, they are almost all free, haha (a luxury to enjoy it, not everyone knows what to do with their free time, or they do not allow it for the same reason) I googled the definition of "Bohemian", the truth is that we all know what it is, however, I was surprised to see it written and well-defined copy/paste
The word is associated with the lifestyle that departs from social conventions and that privileges art and culture over material things.
The Bohemian life is that carefree life that seeks the joy of living,
[person] Who leads a kind of free and poorly organised life; especially the artist with an unconventional life.
a person who lives outside the common denominator of society, someone who does not care so much about their social status,
is someone who has a special sensitivity towards the beautiful things in life, no matter how simple they may seem,
a person who can still enjoy a dinner in a luxurious place or simply in a humble home,
This is also a definition that interprets me ... ... how fantastic, it made me smile.
Official photo of Novi and Ari's marriage, there is even a monkey on her dress
I conclude cash is essential, however for everything described it is much more than having cash. This life is for very few, so far I have not come across anyone who lives it like this. Romantic yes, without a doubt, however, attached to the non-romantic. It's an attitude thing. I am a very happy and free person, with the time at my disposal. All this time I only see "plusses" in my life, it has been an important personal growth, being in constant learning of new worlds, rejoicing with the details, extending tolerance to the maximum to customs, religions, habits that are often incomprehensible, there are many truths in the world and much to grow.
I will share this tremendous event in which I participated since it happened in adverse conditions, to be part of every moment, before, during, after, and I faced the culture, one of the strictest and knowing how to respect its rituals.