vaga #1/31 travel with Rafa

PART XXXI

COLOURS accompany us

Coloured powders, which Hindu women wear on their foreheads. I chose this selection of photos and some compositions based on the original because they were taken while with Raphael, it was a travelling stall that sold them in the temple of Pashupatinath, Kathmandu.

You can see the different tones of yellow, orange, red and vermilion. Women use it daily. It is a protection for the gods. Men and boys wear them at festivals. In rituals, a mass of rice is made that would be made like glue, and rice is added with the coloured powders on the forehead, producing a thick protrusion. They put different tones or colours for different festivities, and according to women, married…. In their daily lives they use a red dot type sticker. 

For me, they are pigments …… pigments; Very particular coloured material found in nature that changes the colour of the light that reflects and transmits a selective absorption of light and with those one makes the colours to produce oil or wax pencils, for example. I was amazed to see those colours, only colours, so sharp, pure and in the form of ashes, almost immaterial, and they make the creation of a work of art possible.

Although this blog is about Rafa, I do not put photos of him and our trip because he would curse me forever, also every time I try to take a picture of him he covers his face. It is a disease for all my children.

We spent the month of June 2018 together. Travelling 24/7 with a 25-year-old son for a month, and we shared the sighs, exhaustion and each movement of the day, meals, breaks etc were decided together ... Coexistence was intense ,learning about each other and the best memories remain more than spending every Sunday at a lunch in a restaurant, without the rush to go back to study, see the girlfriend and other commitments. At the outset I said that Rafael does not understand this style of my life, even more, it bothers him. I did not prepare any of my children by telling them that sometime when I retire, I would go on a trip and that way they could get the idea. However, it was not the case, it was a decision to say something last minute, and it is not that the madness of being 60 years that took me down, I have always had this streak of travelling and independent and life circumstances pushed me to make a total turnaround. They were part of many trips during their upbringing, we were quite adventurous. They would perhaps prefer a more orthodox mom.

We hadn't lived under the same roof for about 5 years when he went to study at university. I met a man, he was no longer the teenager.

The most surprising thing was his engineering mentality. I clarify, "quasi" engineer and "quasi" since still studying is worse than the trained engineer, because they are more concerned with assembling their mental structure as an engineer and I, on the other hand, was more relaxed than ever. In a way, while the role of educating him by parenting had already finished, one always continues to educate. 

Also, for him to see me less than a mom and more as a person, as he tells me now, that I am a romantic artist. So in our observations, commenting on every little thing, we had a radically different point of view, we did not agree on anything. Every comment of mine with some information, he immediately checked on Google to contradict me. Obviously, I am not one to check the information, I repeat what they tell me or listen to and always add some personal comment. By contradicting me and telling me that it is not exact, he incidentally discards all my assessments since it does not correspond to the exact fact, and generally he does not understand me adding personal impressions. The point is that we almost never had internet, so the conversation remained until then, since he could not confirm the data and did not follow the conversation if it happened to be uncertain.

I had never travelled with an "engineer." For example, we went to see a famous and very beautiful pagoda in Kathmandu. They gave us an explanatory brochure at the access to the temple, I told him - you are reading it, and I am taking photos -, he took his time reading it then he told me - it is 4,586 feet high (invented figure, I am not interested in knowing the height, it was tall and impressive, I am left with that feeling) or how many square feet  the base was, then I asked him - what else does ? - it took him a while to answer me, - it was built 400 years before Christ -, and his comment - I don't think so, and it also looks in good condition, on the one hand, or to make this type of temple in those times - I mean, don't believe the brochure. Even so, it is explained that it was restored a year ago, by the Chinese, after the tremendous earthquake of 2015. The 2-page brochure would be all the information he shared with me. Numbers. I did not insist on knowing the story, or other curious information and I dedicated myself to taking very nice photos. It is a good example of our existential differences in seeing life. 

We shared a lot of jokes, jokes of the moment and of the situations that we lived, our sense of humour we shared with joy, we both enjoyed it. Rafa's humour is sharp and critical, mine is not, it is irreverent and humorous.  

Another thing that gave me great pleasure was knowing that he is cultured, he knows about topics, history and politics, perhaps nothing in depth, however, he makes it clear that he has universal knowledge,  he is not only a boy who is a fan of computer games I was surprised because many young people at the age of 25 are not even there with Universal History.

I thank Rafael who implemented the Blog for me, without much conviction to do so, but he had no alternative. Frustration with my inadequacy overcame him, but in the end I learned how to carry on alone. The Blog has been fantastic for me, I'm taking my artistic streak, taking good photos thoroughly, editing them even with basic tools, and writing. I found that that essential part of me compliments me, art. Thank you, son, you have never known the weight of the tremendous contribution you have made in my days.

Three days before his departure in Pokhara, Nepal, I decided there what to do next, which he did not understand was that I do not have a plan already designed beforehand. I decided to stay in that town for another month since I still had a visa. He liked Pokhara and for me to stay there for a while seemed right to him. When he saw me thinking about how to settle in for a month, I wanted a good hotel, I came from a lot of miserable hotels, with a view of the mountains to be able to write the blog, and he told me -Mom, let's find the hotel that suits you to stay, for a month. ..... - we ended up making a budget and negotiated together with reception and there interestingly he told me -mom something like this in Chile comes out exactly 4 times more, it suits you, it is nice, there is your beautiful view from the room, and the restaurant that We like so much, you could open an account. LOL . Rafael, does not share or understand my new life, nor my decisions and nor my tastes, for example, I love Kathmandu, for him, it was loaded with dirt, shit, humid weather, transportation and there was no internet permanently or when there was it was lousy. There I saw him interested or perhaps calm to know where I was staying, that it was nice and agreeable, no hippie stuff. The other thing that he saw was me happy how in many years I had not seen myself this well, he saw that I moved without difficulty, that I make friends easily, without apprehension and saw that I was not lost, nor in disgrace or in decline, for that reason he did not resist or say his criticisms out loud. All an advance acceptance and I am grateful for an approach towards my new person and life by his side.

This was maturity on his part, a way of accepting and even contributing, which I did not need, but that was his way of showing concern, interest and above all acceptance. For him, a formal man, having an unusual mother is harder for him than my other children. Today, when I write this, it does not bother him so much, one, because I have been living in Thailand for about two years (operation and then pandemic), I am no longer the "vagabond" who walks the world without aim, or direction, or where he could find me, there is WhatsApp, but it does not count for him. Is it enough when someone asks you and your mom where she is. He can say she  lives in Thailand and that suits him. He always says - my mom is crazy - as a justification for the non-traditional, I tell him -no, no I'm not crazy, I'm different-  

These will be wonderful memories for life, the trip was between the trekking to the Everest base camp, an experience with a capital letter and if you add the helicopter trips, the National Park of southern Nepal, where we rode bareback elephants, we saw Wild rhinos and topped off in Pokhara with a paragliding flight over the Annapurna Range. 

As my mom used to say - !!!! How remarkable when the grandchildren arrive !!! (on Sundays) and how wonderful that they leave at the end of the day !!! -Well, something like this happened to me with Rafael and I think it was mutual, I was finally alone, happy to take up my time and silence.

This was maturity on his part, a way of accepting and even contributing, which I did not need, but that was his way of showing concern, interest and above all acceptance. For him, a formal man, having an unusual mother is harder for him than my other children. Today, when I write this, it does not bother him so much, one, because I have been living in Thailand for about two years (operation and then pandemic), I am no longer the "vagabond" who walks the world without aim, or direction, or where he could find me, there is WhatsApp, but it does not count for him. Is it enough when someone asks you and your mom where she is. He can say she  lives in Thailand and that suits him. He always says - my mom is crazy - as a justification for the non-traditional, I tell him -no, no I'm not crazy, I'm different-  

These will be wonderful memories for life, the trip was between the trekking to the Everest base camp, an experience with a capital letter and if you add the helicopter trips, the National Park of southern Nepal, where we rode bareback elephants, we saw Wild rhinos and topped off in Pokhara with a paragliding flight over the Annapurna Range. 

As my mom used to say - !!!! How remarkable when the grandchildren arrive !!! (on Sundays) and how wonderful that they leave at the end of the day !!! -Well, something like this happened to me with Rafael and I think it was mutual, I was finally alone, happy to take up my time and silence.

Yes, I end up with a photo that I like of my Rafa, and he is in the action of covering his face with his hand. I know I break the silent code of conduct for family harmony, but this is my journal and blog too. I'm sorry son and you look very handsome.